5 Practical Tips for Shaping Your Children’s Hearts and Maintaining Your Sanity!

Ever find yourself in a moment of intense frustration trying through gritted teeth to convince your kids to be thankful and have good attitudes?

Then you feel that gentle tap on your shoulder as your Heavenly Father softly clears His throat. Once again you are faced with the fact that you would benefit from your own advice.

Fear not! You are not alone. We’ve all been there.

As we race into yet another holiday season, here are five tools I have used to turn my kids’ hearts toward the Lord (and keep myself under control) at times when the oh-so-human side of their personalities emerges.

Tips for a Heart Adjustment

First and foremost, please teach your kids: It is not wrong to feel frustrated, angry, or upset.

We can’t help the feelings that come to us, but we can choose what we do with them. Learning this early will save them years of self-condemnation and set them free to recognize Satan’s lies at their onset.

Assure them that you understand their feelings. You have the same ones on a regular basis! But emphasize that we are not slaves to our emotions. We have a choice. (1 Corinthians 6:12)

My own little paraphrase of Psalm 118:24

The Lord put this one on my heart when Mikaela was about 3 and just beginning this life-long battle with her feelings. It goes like this, “God made this day. I will be happy, excited, and thankful!”

This has been so powerful for us! Both of my kids can quote this at the drop of a hat. And we don’t just say it. We chant it! Over and over, getting louder and louder and more and more excited with each repetition. By about the third or fourth time everyone is smiling and laughing whether they want to or not. Remember, there is power in the Word to get into our bones and transform us from the inside out.

The Word of God is alive and active, and once we open the door, the Spirit of God begins His awesome, transforming work in our hearts. This not only helps redirect their attitudes but also gets them in the habit of turning to Him when times get tough.

Another great one is to quote this simple phrase from Psalm 100:4 (in the Amplified Bible), “Be thankful, and say so.”

I encourage adding an extra step. Send them off to talk to God, and tell Him 10 things they are thankful for. (Writing them down if they are able.) Try this yourself when you find you are feeling less than content. It is almost impossible to continue with a bad attitude once you begin making your list. And chances are you won’t stop at 10!

“Instead of getting sad, we get thankful.”

This phrase is one of the first heart redirecting tactics I used with my kiddos. This is awesome for dealing with the inevitable disappointments of the end of playdates, leaving a playground, or even hearing the words, “Bed time!”

Say we are at a friend’s house, and it’s time to go. I see the dark shadow begin to fall, and I gently walk over to my child, kneel down, and softly whisper, “Instead of getting sad, what do we get?” And they will say (albeit sometimes through a whimper), “Thankful.” And I’ll tell them that instead of getting sad we have to leave we can be thankful we got to come. This gently prod rarely fails to put their hearts back on the right path.

Finally, once they are old enough, encourage them to cultivate their own “God-Time” habit.

Our kids cannot rely on us to spoon feed them our faith for the entire time they are under our roofs. If they do, they will never grow roots of their own. And once they leave home, they will have no personal experience to stand on.

If they can read, buy them an age appropriate devotional. Share with them your personal story of why cultivating a personal relationship with God is so important. Then step back and pray. This is the hard part for me. I really want to “make” them spend time with God. However, God created us with free-choice for a reason. The one who comes by force will have more resentment than love. But the one who chooses to heed His tender wooing will become fiercely loyal and passionately devoted.

Nudging Young Hearts

Remember, we are to shepherd our children’s hearts. That is to gently nudge them in the right direction. Try never to tell them what to do without giving them the tools to do it. That’s why we’re here! And it’s the same way the Father leads and directs us. He is after all, our ultimate Guide on this wonderfully crazy journey called parenthood.

Hope you find these tips helpful. Not only do they make a difference in the moment, but they set our kids up for future success as they develop wonderful coping tools for when life isn’t going exactly as they want.

Many blessing and a very Happy Thanksgiving!

~ Jenny