Your time to shine!
How many times have I found myself in the “If he would then I would” scenario? If you’re honest with yourself, chances are you’ve been there too.
So many times we base our actions on whether or not our spouse has acted worthy of our good attitude and displays affection. How sad this is! We are not called to love others as they love us. We are not told to do unto others as they do unto us. We are not commanded to show others the love of God when they have treated us in such a way that we feel the love of God coming from them first.
No! On the contrary, we are simply called to love.
Our calling is not based on anyone else. It is not derived from human behavior or dependent upon the “deserving-ness” of our spouse. Ours is a higher calling, directly from the Lord, divine in nature.
When we answer that call by saying, “I do,” we are saying to the Lord, “I will. I accept the call to love…unconditionally, come what may.” We are stepping into the convent agreement to put someone else before ourselves.
Fulfilling our calling has nothing to do with whether or not our spouse behaves in a way that makes us want to.* Our decision to love is something we do as an act of worship to the Lord, regardless of what’s going on around us. It must be based on a commitment, and not just a commitment to another human being (who, like it or not, will fail us). No, our decision to love must be viewed as a commitment to the Lord
Who never changes, never fails, and Who always gives us the strength we need to fulfill what He has asked us to do. Rest assured, what God calls you to He will equip you to do and do well with His power.
Now, I have to say that my husband is deserving more times than not, probably much more frequently than I am! But the fact remains, whether or not you deem your spouse as worthy of your kind words and loving actions is not the point. If you are married you are called to show that person love and respect. (Ephesians 5:33) This is your act of service to the Lord. It is not dependent upon what they do. In fact, your loving your spouse has very little to do with them at all! I know that sounds crazy but bear with me….
One of my all-time favorite verses is Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” And this doesn’t just go for the people you see at church on Sunday or in the parking lot at drop off and pick up at school. Yes, by all means shine your light for Jesus for the sales clerk and the mail carrier, but how are you shining within the walls of your own home? Is it getting pretty dark in there? You need to be the light in your home and in your marriage!
On Day 13 of her book, “Called to Love” bestselling author, Alisa Dilorenzo has this to say,
“When you choose to be the light of the world, in your marriage, it means that you:
- Make choices about your behavior. You can ask yourself is this behavior drawing my spouse to me (light) or pushing them away?
- Make choices about your words. You and I both know the power of words to either lift up and light up someone’s world or to tear them down and plunge them into darkness. How are your words encouraging your spouse or are they a source of discouragement?
- Make choices about your attitude. Do you bring a spirit of positivity or negativity to your marriage and your spouse?”
Think about this: Regardless of how your spouse conducts him/herself Christ died for him/her. He loves them with a great, powerful, unending, earth-shaking love, and He has chosen you to be the closest human connection they have. He handpicked you to have the most powerful, influential position in your spouse’s life. He wants to use you as His hands and arms and mouthpiece to show love to someone He deemed precious enough to die for. This is a very high calling! Are you taking it seriously? Are you being a light in your marriage, or are you finding yourself slipping more and more into the dark?
“She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.” Proverbs 31:12 (AMPC)
This verse has long been my prayer for myself in mine and Tim’s marriage. I encourage wives everywhere to adopt it as their own.
Grab your own copy of “Called to Love” today! You’ll be glad you did!
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*Please note: This post is intended to be encouragement and guidance for those in a marriage where often times the typical offense is getting on each others nerves. Should you find yourself in an abusive situation, please, by all means, seek the proper help for the safety of you and your children.
