Peck the Egg: Letting Kids Struggle A Little So They Can Survive A Lot

I always pray for what I call “creative parenting.” As a result, I often come up with phrases and ideas my kids find pretty weird. However, these quirky sayings and wacky object lessons will undoubtedly follow them the rest of their lives. And I pray they will always serve to remind my children of the life lessons they are intended to impart.

My latest is especially for my 9 going on 19-year-old daughter, Mikaela. She is absolutely amazing and really finds her groove when you put a bat and glove in her hands. But like most young girls, Mikaela often struggles with confidence.

We’ve all heard how the process of pecking their own way out of their shell is believed to help strengthen and equip baby birds to not only survive but thrive.

Mommy birds don’t assist their little ones in the hatching process. While they keep them warm and safe, they let their little ones struggle a bit on their own to ensure they have the skills they need when it’s time to leave the nest. Recently, I shared this with Mikaela. I explained to her there are many times she needs to “peck her own shell.”

I’ve become very selective about helping her with things she can do for herself. I know when she is perfectly capable of doing something, even if she lacks confidence in her own abilities.

“Peck your egg” has become my redundant response. No doubt it grates on her. Nonetheless, it always elicits a grin and reminds her that, yes, she can do it.

Knowing we believe in them is a powerful first step in our kids learning to believe in themselves.

I recently came across an article on MyPetChicken.com. The following lines jumped out at me:

“If you’re soft-hearted, it’s natural to want to help. You’ve been waiting all this time for those babies to hatch, and you want a happy ending. You don’t want to just sit on your hands while someone struggles if it’s possible for you to help. But what you want to do isn’t always what you should do. Just be sure you’re fully prepared for the consequences of taking action.”

I know there’s a temptation to help our kids at the first sign of difficulties. We don’t want to watch them struggle. However, it’s better to let them figure it out now than to try to help and end up causing more serious damage.

We don’t want to look back years later with regret realizing our eagerness to help and lack of self-restraint had a crippling effect on their character.

On AFarmishKindOfLife.com, the author says, “If you do decide to help a chick hatch, know that the chick might not live, or might be fine…or might “survive” but have “other issues”— which means you’ve possibly increased the work for yourself.”

We all know adults who never hatched. Mom and Dad took care of everything. And they never managed to leave the nest!

The author quoted a friend as saying, “It’s best to allow the chick the chance to complete the hatch process itself and to interfere as minimally as possible. You want to make sure you’re not causing more harm than good.”

Another friend said, “It’s important to have all the conditions in the incubator right and healthy hens to give the chicks the best chance of hatching safely.”

The impact of setting up an environment in your home that is supportive and healthy cannot be overstated.

A peaceful, Christ-centered home and parents who are strong and well balanced are two of the surest ways to give your kids the tools they need to hatch on their own and come out strong.

Let’s not be afraid to let our kids peck their own eggs. It’s tough to watch, and they will likely not understand why we stand by as they struggle. But years from now we’ll all be glad we did.

“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” – Isaiah 40:29 (NLT)

For more along these lines check out “Teach Your Kids to Fight! Spiritual Warfare for Children” from JennyZentz.com and “How to Raise Resilient, Gritty, and Passionate People”, Episode 10 of The IMbetween Podcast.