Taking Stock: My Search for Margin Amidst All the Busy
If my number one priority feels more like an interruption to all the things I’m trying to get done then something needs to give.
Recently, I’ve been contemplating taking on another ministry opportunity. I know that as a family (my number one priority, by the way) we are pretty much operating at max capacity as it is. So I had reasoned with myself and the Lord that… if it was only once every 6 weeks, how could I not be able to fit it in? Seriously, one evening out of 42. Surely that was doable.
Margin or lack there of
As I sat down with my calendar and began searching for dates, I was sick to my stomach and unsettled in my spirit when I realized how little margin my life has right now. Everything I’m doing and am involved in is good stuff. But like Mary and Martha, I’ve been erring on the Martha side.
This has set me on a journey with the Lord over the past few days. A journey that is far from over. I am trying to fully take stock of how much I truly have to give right now. And Tim (Praise Jesus for a godly husband!) and I are talking and praying through this together.
I can tell you this. I have no peace about picking up another regularly scheduled commitment at this time, even if it is only once every six weeks. While it doesn’t sound like much, when I put it together with everything else I’m committed to it adds up and cuts deeply into the time I must protect for my family and my sanity. (I grabbed a paper calendar and just filled in the evening commitments already in place for the next eight weeks. Between now and the 27th of November we only have 7 weekday evenings that don’t already have something booked!)
Why not say yes?
Up to this point my theory has been, if I see a need, because I feel a calling to teach God’s Word and encourage other women, then of course I should fill the need. I think I am learning that every need is not mine to fill, no matter how much it looks like an obvious “yes” or how badly I want to do it.
I’m going to be completely honest…my kids are not getting a very stellar version of me right now. I was in tears the other day, and even told them that this is not the way I want them to remember me. Not my finest hour…
I can’t keep pouring into others, helping to improve their homes and families and their faith walks if my own are on shaky ground. I mean, I can…and many do, but little else screams “hypocrite” quite so loudly.
Shocker
Are you ready for this?
The most “godly” answer isn’t necessarily God’s answer for you or me at any given time.
Of course I mean “godly” as in the answer which would appear to the world and others as the most pious thing to do. Here’s how that is playing out for me:
Just because I’m called to ministry doesn’t mean I’m called to take on every ministry need I am made aware of.
Martha, Martha/Jenny, Jenny
I will leave you with this eye opener…
I was recently listening to a Bible study by Joanna Weaver, author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy With God in the Busyness of Life.
In the study, Joanna is referencing the passage in Luke 10:38-42 where Jesus is at the home of Mary and Martha. While Martha “was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made,” Mary simply sat listening at Jesus’ feet. Of course Jesus tells Martha, after she complains to Him that her sister is not helping, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
As a natural Martha, this story had always struck a chord with me. However, here’s what really got me in Joanna’s talk. She shared that the original Greek term used here for “preparation” is “diakonia” which can be translated “ministry.” Selah! (Pause and calmly think about that!)
To paraphrase Joanna: Am I so busy serving Jesus that I’m not truly taking the time to get to know Him? Ouch! And Wow!
For more of my transparency on my own Martha-ish tendencies check out my post Peaceful Mama = Peaceful Home; Crazy Mama = Everybody Run!!
Weapons for your battle
Scriptures I am mediating (aka…reading, writing and praying over and over) on right now are:
“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,” 1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV)
“They then said, What are we to do, that we may [habitually] be working the works of God? [What are we to do to carry out what God requires?] Jesus replied, This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger].” John 6:28-29
“Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth. But avoid all empty (vain, useless, idle) talk, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness.” 2 Timothy 2:15-16 (AMPC)
