Why Didn’t God Give Me What I Want? : When You Don’t Like the Answer to Your Prayer
“No mommy! Please, no!”
“Sweetie, I’m sorry, but we have to.”
“No! No,” she screamed with tears running down her beautiful little face.
Here we stood. Myself and two nurses in the tiny exam room engaged in a full-blown standoff with my then five-year-old daughter, Mikaela. We began to take a step forward, and it was in that moment we realized our fatal flaw. We had allowed her unblocked access to the door.
One more “No!” and she was gone…
Down the hall she went with myself and now three nurses in desperate pursuit. With tears streaming down her face, and me barely holding mine at bay, we cornered her in the file room. Gently yet firmly the two nurses and I held her while the third nurse administered the shot. Definitely one of the most “I feel like a crappy mom” days in my repertoire.
But, as traumatic and ridiculous as it was. And as much as I wanted to call the whole thing off. I knew something that my precious, curly haired girl did not. It was necessary. Painful perhaps, but necessary.
Been There
We’ve all been little Mikaela at some point. Afraid. Desperate. Begging God to make it stop. Take it away! Don’t let this happen!
We may even find ourselves frantically running through the hallways of life searching for a “file room” to dive into in hopes of escaping the pain. (For “file room” read: drug or alcohol abuse, dead-end relationships, or days on end with Netflix and junk food!)
A Good Father
Matthew 7:11 tells us that God is a good Father. A much more loving parent than we could ever hope to be.
As much as we don’t want to see our children scared or in pain. As much as we would like to keep them from anything that would ever hurt them. There are times like the scene above, when we allow this pain. Because we know more than our children do. We can see the end from the beginning. (Isaiah 46:9-10)
We know the outcome will be healing or prevention of greater pain later on. But our kids cannot see that. In fact, they refuse to see that. They will not listen to us no matter how much we try to tell them we love them. In that moment they’re not so sure. Sound familiar?
He Loves
God loves us more than we can fathom. (Zephaniah 3:17) So much so that He gave His own Son to die, so that we might live. God does not cause our bad things, but sometimes He will allow them because he knows they will work into a plan for our growth and betterment. (See Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28, James 1:2-4)
He Knows
God knows exactly what we need even if what we need is not what we want or what’s going to make us happy.
We’ve all desperately prayed for things we did not get. Healing of that relationship. Promotion in that job. Passing that test. Good results from that scan.
Sometimes getting exactly what we want, the way we want it, when we want it is God‘s best for us. But sometimes learning to press in and press on in the midst of circumstances that we are not happy with for the sake of real growth is what we really need most in the moment.
We must know that God is love (1 John 4:8-10) and decide that we will trust Him no matter what life brings. We are good enough parents to give our kids a shot now, so they will feel better and be stronger later. And He is such a better parent than we could ever be!
He Works
If you don’t get what you want trust that your loving Father knows what you need. And He is going to choose the absolute best for you. Someday you will understand it all, but for now we must choose to trust every day, walking in what we know regardless of how we feel.
We serve a good God who loves us like crazy and is choosing the absolute best for us each and every moment. He busies Himself with our every step. (Psalm 37:23)
There is so much going on that we cannot see. We can trust that God is all the while working behind the scenes. (Romans 8:28) Chances are a disappointment now is setting you on God‘s perfect path for your life. Taking you right where He wants you.
One day you’re likely to look back and say, “Wow! If it hadn’t worked out like that I wouldn’t have been in the place I needed to be, at the time I needed to be there, to meet the people I needed to meet, to have the opportunities that I have now.” (Ephesians 3:20)
As I always say, there is indeed purpose in pain!
Just like me with Mikaela…I got absolutely no pleasure from her fear and pain. In fact, it broke my heart to see it happen. Yet,because I wanted what was best for her, I allowed it. And all the while I never left her side!
“For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.”’ Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)
“For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” Jeremiah 29:11 (AMPC)
“God is not a man, that He should tell or act a lie, neither the son of man, that He should feel repentance or compunction [for what He has promised]. Has He said and shall He not do it? Or has He spoken and shall He not make it good?” Numbers 23:19 (AMPC)“To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3 (AMPC)
