Called to Love, Marriage

When in doubt…shut your mouth!

So I have just finished my 40 day journey through Alisa Dilorenzo’s new book “Called To Love.” I hope you have enjoyed following along as much as I have enjoyed blogging about the great insights this book holds for marriage.
As I close out this series, there are two great points I want to bring to your attention. On Day 33 titled, “There are times to hold your tongue.” (Yes, she puts it a little nicer than I did!), Alisa starts out with the passage from Matthew 27:12-14.
“When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you? But Jesus made no reply, not even a single charge – to the in great amazement of the governor.”
I have to admit, in my own human/prideful weakness, my innate need to be right and defend myself, I always read this and thought, “Come on, Jesus! Say something!” I mean, really? Why didn’t he tell them who he was? Now, of course I know he had been doing that all along and it would make no difference at this point, and he also knew that the whole point of his life was to lay it down for us, and he knew that the time had come. But still, to stand there and not say anything at all!
I love the first paragraph in this day’s devotion. Alisa says, “Jesus did not speak a single negative word when he was accused, when people were speaking poorly of him, when they were calling for his death. He didn’t go to their level. He didn’t allow them to create an emotional response in him.”
How many times have I found myself irate because of something Tim has said (or rather the way he said something) that hit me the wrong way? I have felt so justified in my anger (and often times rudeness) because I had been provoked. But here, Jesus was provoked beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, and yet, “He did not allow them to create an emotional response in him.” Selah (Pause and calmly think about that!)
 Alisa goes on to say in day 33, “Our marriages need us to constantly be asking ourselves, what would Jesus do in this situation? If this is one of those times that Jesus would be quiet, I need to be quiet. If this is one of those times that Jesus would let someone vent, I need to let that someone (my spouse) vent. If this is one of those times that I see that my words aren’t going to have an impact because my spouse isn’t in a place to listen, I must choose silence.”
 Alisa wraps up this great book with the topic of service. She points out, “Jesus gives us the antidote to our selfishness in these words, “The Son of Man….came to serve.” (From Mark 10:45) She goes on to say, “There is nothing to be gained in demanding to be served. It creates an environment of hostility and resentment. It creates an environment in which relationships wither and die. It’s an environment where people give up and check out. Demanding to be served takes love out of the equation and replaces it with duty and avoidance. Not the best recipe for happy marriage.”
 I know many of us may get our back up when we hear we need to serve our spouse. We may begin to ask the question, “What about me?” or begin to play the “If he would….then I would…” game, but allow me to challenge you with what I always tell my kids…and anyone else who will listen. You take care of others, and let God take care of you. And I promise you, my friend when you honor Him through your acts of love, service and selfless devotion to the ones whom He has called you to love He will pay you back tenfold. That’s just the way He rolls!! (Malachi 3:10)

 If you have not gotten your own copy of “Called To Love,”  I highly encourage you to click here and order yours today! This could be the beginning of a great turning point in your marriage and in yourself.

And please join me on Facebook and Instagram @TheMommyCall


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Called to Love, Marriage

Your time to shine!

 How many times have I found myself in the “If he would then I would” scenario? If you’re honest with yourself, chances are you’ve been there too.


So many times we base our actions on whether or not our spouse has acted worthy of our good attitude and displays affection. How sad this is! We are not called to love others as they love us. We are not told to do unto others as they do unto us. We are not commanded to show others the love of God when they have treated us in such a way that we feel the love of God coming from them first. No! On the contrary, we are called to love. Our calling is not based on anyone else. It is not derived from human behavior or dependent upon the deservingness of our spouse. Ours is a higher calling, directly from the Lord, divine in nature. When we answer that call by saying, “I do,” we are saying to the Lord, “I will. I accept the call to love…unconditionally, come what may.” We are stepping into the convent agreement to put someone else before ourselves, and fulfilling our call has nothing to do with whether or not our spouse behaves in a way that makes us want to fulfill our call. It is something we do as our act of worship to the Lord, regardless of what’s going on around us. It must be based on a commitment, and not just a commitment to another human being (who, like it or not, will fail you) but a commitment to the Lord who never changes, never fails, and who always gives us the strength we need to fulfill what He has asked us to do. Rest assured, what God calls you to He will equip you to do and do well with His power.
Now, I have to say that my husband is deserving more times than not, probably much more frequently than I am! But the fact remains, whether or not you deem your spouse as worthy of your kind words and loving actions is not the point. If you are married you are called to show that person love and respect. (
Ephesians 5:33) This is your act of service to the Lord. It is not dependent upon what they do. In fact, your loving your spouse has very little to do with them at all! I know that sounds crazy but bear with me….

One of my all-time favorite verses is Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” And this doesn’t just go for the people you see at church on Sunday or in the parking lot at drop off and pick up at school. Yes, by all means shine your light for Jesus for the sales clerk and the mail carrier, but what are you showing within the walls of your own home? Is it getting pretty dark in there? You need to be the light in your home and in your marriage!

On Day 13 of her new book, “Called to Love” bestselling author, Alisa Dilorenzo has this to say,

“When you choose to be the light of the world, in your marriage, it means that you:

    • Make choices about your behavior. You can ask yourself is this behavior drawing my spouse to me (light) or pushing them away?

 

    • Make choices about your words. You and I both know the power of words to either lift up and light up someone’s world or to tear them down and plunge them into darkness. How are your words encouraging your spouse or are they a source of discouragement?


    • Make choices about your attitude. Do you bring a spirit of positivity or negativity to your marriage and your spouse?”

 

Think about this: Regardless of how your spouse conducts him/herself Christ died for him/her. He loves them with a great, powerful, unending, earth-shaking love, and He has chosen you to be the closest human connection they have. He handpicked you to have the most powerful, influential position in your spouse’s life. He wants to use you as His hands and arms and mouthpiece to show love to someone He deemed precious enough to die for. This is a very high calling! Are you taking it seriously? Are you being a light in your marriage or are you finding yourself slipping more and more into the dark?
 

 

“She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

 

Proverbs 31:12 (AMPC)

 

This verse has long been my prayer for myself in our marriage. I encourage wives everywhere to adopt it as their own.
Grab your own copy of “Called to Love” today! You’ll be glad you did!
And please join me on Facebook and Instagram @TheMommyCall

 

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Called to Love, Marriage

Watch out for that beam!

Ok….let us continue through this great new devotional book, “Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus” In Day 11, author Alisa DiLorenzo talks about the speck and the plank. Wow, how true this is! I’m such a speck inspector! As I read Alisa’s words and began to view the words of Christ through the lens …

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Called to Love, Marriage

How we saved our marriage before we were even engaged…

OK! As promised, here it is. This is how we saved our marriage before we were even engaged. Can’t believe I got Tim to do a video with me! Check it out. …I hope we will bring you encouragement, inspiration and a good dose of laughter! “When you and I take a stand for our marriages, when we say that …

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