Marriage, No More Perfect Marriages

No More Perfect Marriages…But There is a Perfect God!

Being willing to fight for your marriage and work on the tough stuff takes courage. In the third chapter of their book, No More Perfect Marriages, Mark and Jill Savage give us eight “God tools” to use for working on our marriages, and for battling what they have coined “the perfection infection.” (I’d list them all out, but you really should get the book and discover them for yourself! ūüôā ) ¬†The first tool they mention is courage. I love this quote, “Courage is not the absence of fear; it is determining something is more important than the fear. Your marriage is more important than your fear of conflict, your fear of taking off your mask, your fear of intimacy, your fear of disagreement, or your fear of honest conversation.”¬†

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Marriage, No More Perfect Marriages

Helpmate or Boss Lady – Which role am I playing in my marriage?

I love my husband. I respect his authority, and I admire his wisdom….but I don’t always let him use those gifts which he so adequately possesses. I mean he has some great ideas…mine just seem better. He does a lot of great things. He just doesn’t always do them the “right” way. I’m just trying to help! I mean, I know he means well, but….well, didn’t God give me to him to be his helper? If you think about it, I’m just trying to do my job, fulfill my calling, serve the Lord with gladness…do I have any sisters out there? (more…)

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Marriage, No More Perfect Marriages

Which way should the toilet paper roll? And how does it affect your marriage?

Oh my goodness! I mean seriously?! The man and I have been using the same bathroom for nearly a dozen years. You would think by now he would’ve realized the error of his ways! Toilet paper should roll over the top towards the front, not down the back. Why doesn’t he realize the extreme inconvenience of the over the back roll?¬†

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Called to Love, Marriage

When in doubt…shut your mouth!

So I have just finished my 40 day journey through Alisa Dilorenzo’s new book “Called To Love.” I hope you have enjoyed following along as much as I have enjoyed blogging about the great insights this book holds for marriage.
As I close out this series, there are two great points I want to bring to¬†your attention. On Day 33 titled, “There are times to hold your tongue.” (Yes, she puts it a little nicer than I did!), Alisa starts out with the passage from Matthew 27:12-14.
“When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you? But Jesus made no reply, not even a single charge ‚Äď to¬†the in great amazement of the governor.”
I have to admit, in my own human/prideful weakness, my innate need to be right and¬†defend myself,¬†I always read this and thought, “Come¬†on, Jesus! Say something!” I mean, really? Why didn’t he tell them who he was? Now, of course I know he had¬†been doing that all along and¬†it would make no difference at this point, and he also knew that the¬†whole¬†point of his life was to lay it down for us, and he knew that the time had come. But still, to stand there and not say anything at all!
I love the first paragraph in this day’s devotion. Alisa says, “Jesus did not speak a single negative word when he was accused, when people were speaking poorly of him, when they were calling for his death. He didn’t go to their level. He didn’t allow them to create an emotional response in him.”
How many times have I found myself irate because of something Tim has said (or rather the way he said something)¬†that hit me the wrong way? I have felt so justified in my anger (and often times rudeness) because I had been provoked. But here, Jesus was provoked beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, and yet, “He did not allow them to create an emotional response in him.” Selah¬†(Pause and calmly think about that!)
¬†Alisa goes on to say in day 33, “Our marriages need us to constantly be asking ourselves, what would Jesus do in this situation? If this is one of those times that Jesus would be quiet, I need to be quiet. If this is one of those times that Jesus would let someone vent, I need to let that someone (my spouse) vent. If this is one of those times that I see that my words aren’t going to have an impact because my spouse isn’t in a place to listen, I must choose silence.”
¬†Alisa wraps up this great book with the topic of service. She points out, “Jesus gives us the antidote¬†to our¬†selfishness in these words, “The Son of Man….came to serve.” (From Mark 10:45)¬†She goes on to say, “There is nothing to be gained in demanding to be served. It creates an environment of hostility and resentment. It creates an environment in which relationships wither and die. It’s an environment where people give up and check out. Demanding to be served takes love out of the equation and replaces it with¬†duty and avoidance. Not the best recipe for happy marriage.”
¬†I know many of us may get our back up when we hear we need to serve our spouse. We may begin to ask the question, “What about me?”¬†or begin¬†to play the “If he would….then I would…”¬†game,¬†but allow me to challenge you with what I always tell my kids…and anyone else who will listen. You take care of others, and let God take care of you. And I promise you, my friend when you honor Him through your acts of love, service and selfless devotion to the ones whom¬†He has called you to love He will pay you back tenfold. That’s just the way He rolls!! (Malachi 3:10)

¬†If you have not gotten your own copy of “Called To Love,”¬† I highly encourage you to¬†click¬†here and order yours today! This could be the beginning of a great turning point in your marriage and in yourself.

And please join me on Facebook and Instagram @TheMommyCall


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